"To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times." ~ Mark Twain
In order to properly overcome the cigarette, I considered replacing it with something else. Since I'm already an alcoholic, I can't function without caffeine, and womanising isn't really an option for so many reasons, my first consideration for drug replacement therapy was heroin.
I figured it could be fun while I got over the worst of the cravings. It's not like I have an addictive personality or anything. I simply have a startling array of bad habits I can't seem to live without.
But so far such drastic measures prove unnecessary. I feel ok - apart from a nervous tic in my left eye, and a mildly homicidal feeling whenever a phone rings, which in our call centre is anywhere from 300-600 times a day.
As I considered what I could best substitute cigarettes with, I find myself absently unwrapping a Cherry Ripe from the Salvation Army snack box in our office. This is the third item I've taken from there, the previous two being a Bounty and a Mars Bar, not to mention the entire packet of Fruit Chews I consumed between my mid-morning snack and lunch.
Turns out it is the junk that makes the junkie after all.
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